I didn't mean to sound bitter when I was doing this. Sorry if I sounded...odd. We read this in creative writing today, and I had no idea that it was going to sound the way it did. Sorry!
Well, here is my first creative writing assignment for the semester. It's kind of weird in my opinion. I'm still kind of stuck in a writer's block, so please forgive me. The topic was myself, so I was a little bit bored with it, but oh well.
I’m sorry to disappoint, but the sad fact is, my life is just as insignificant as anyone else thinks their life is. I was born, I’m still growing up, and one day, I’ll die. That part is the easy part. It’s always the things in between that I have trouble getting straight.
I started writing in fifth grade. One day, I just sat down and wrote. A few days later, it was a story. I entered it into the Reflections contest, and I won. Ever since then, I’ve been obsessed with the feeling of words at my fingertips.
I like to consider myself as a normal teenager. I go to school, I have a part-time job, I like to be with my friends, and I even feel like the world conspires against me sometimes. In some ways, that’s what I hate about myself too. I’ve been relieved to be ordinary, but some days, I want to be more than that. One day, I’m hoping to overcome this stereotype and become an extraordinary person. I know every kid says that they want to accomplish something like this, but then they drop the dream as reality closes in on them. That’s the thing about my reality: It’s already different from those I know. When faith in something is lost, all other hope falters. I guess I haven’t quite lost all faith in myself yet.
My worst fear is that one day I’ll be alone. I’ve already pushed friends away because I was trying to be honest, trying to be a good friend. My intentions weren’t seen as noble, and I’m afraid they never will be. I’m scared that I won’t have a warm hand to hold as I go through the bad times in life. I know it sounds slightly crazy, but my nightmares can seem so real sometimes, and this was one of them.
One of my new, favorite quotes from the movie Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix helps sort of illustrate my point. “You’re the weak one. You will never know love or friendship, and I feel sorry for you.” I don’t want to become the inadequate one. I don’t want to lose everything I live for. I want to be the lucky one with love in my life. With some events that happened last year, all I feel like I’m capable of is losing friendships. I’m scared that’s all I’ll become: another loser friend for the record books.
