Another Year

I’m so sick of feeling sorry for myself. I’m tired of not having any confidence. Why do I beat myself up about the smallest things? I am an amazing, independent, strong, beautiful, talented, creative, smart, unique, passionate, and extraordinary individual. I’m so blessed, and I neglect to see it almost 24/7. It’s time to stop my insecure ways. Here and now, I’m making a pledge. I’m going to start taking care of myself, because I’m worth the hard work. I’m going to have the conviction to do things I would otherwise be scared to do. I’m going to take some chances, learn to live a little. I’ve been so protected in my shell. It’s time to make some changes. I’m a powerful woman. I can do whatever I set my mind to. I’m going to stop caring what others think, because as far as I’m concerned, only two opinions matter right now: God’s and mine. Next year is my senior year, and I’m not going to sit by and watch other people have all the fun. Nope, not going to happen. This leads me into my next topic; New Year’s Resolutions.

1. Lose weight – yeah, I know, on everyone’s list, but I’m serious about it.
   a. Go to the Legacy Center at least three times a week.
   b. Hire Hannah as a Personal Trainer.
   

2. Apply to three colleges before the end of next year.



3. Take the ACT and get a 30 or above (out of 36).



4. Go on lots of dates (may or may not require a boyfriend).



5. Go to my first real concert – no Kim, the Backstreet Boys concert didn’t count.



6. Acquire many scholarships (I guess I need to work on apply for them as well).



7. Make Editor-in-Chief on my school newspaper.



8. Publish something I’ve written.



9. Continue developing talents such as photography and music.



10. Be more positive – Smiley faces are still my icon.



11. Don’t worry so much – relax, things will work out.



12. Own a car before my next birthday – everything paid off.



13. Get everything SUPER organized so I don’t have to worry about losing or forgetting anything.



14. Say, “I love you,” more to friends and family – they know it, but need to hear it more often.



15. Stick with all of these goals until Thanksgiving at the very least.

Wow, it’s amazing what you can sometimes end up writing off a whim. Happy New Year! :]

The Finale

Well, Christmas is almost finally upon us. Bronson is still itching to open all of the presents under the tree. He gets to open one later, but I'm worried he'll get a taste of it and won't want to stop. I'll admit that I'm excited, too. Our family has been tracking Santa through www.noradsanta.org. It's been a tradition for a couple of years now.

Also, be sure to check out this site. It's got some good Christmas pics. www.animationbackgrounds.blogspot.com/

Well, I wish you all a Merry Christmas. Have fun spending time with your families. I know I will. Don't forget that, I love you all!

Also, don't forget, the birth of our Savior, and the big reason we carry on with this over commercialized holiday; the spirit of giving, loving, and kindness. XOXOXOXO

'Twas ALMOST The Night Before Christmas

I found this picture on that cool website again. It's perfect for today.

I've got extreme writer's block today. Sorry, I would write more. I can tell you my plans for Christmas, however.

Ok, so Christmas morning we usually wake up at 7:00, and I get dragged out of bed by my siblings. We open presents from Santa, then the presents under the tree. Next we get to play with our toys for a few hours, then we go to my grandparents house. We usually stay until 7:00 or 8:00 and then we get to go home, play with more toys, and get to clean up our lovely, messy house.

Wow, I'm so out of it. I feel like I'm lost somehow. Hmmm... Interesting. I'm going to watch some movies with the family.

Frosty the Snowman

Frosty the Snowman
Originally uploaded by *Sakura*

So, I like to look at flickr.com at the photos and I came across this. Can you believe only four more days until Christmas already. I know I can't believe it. It went by extremely fast. Well, I have to get ready to go to work. Blah.

Will It Ever End?

I feel so swamped. Would you like to listen to my daily schedule?

• Get up and get ready -- a chore in and of itself for me. I'd rather sleep in.


• Go to school -- nuff said.


• Go home and do homework -- not enough time to do it before I go to work.


• Go to work -- exhausting.


• Get home -- finish the homework I still have to do.


• Go to sleep -- and salvage the 4 hours I have before I have to wake up and do the same thing again tomorrow.

It's not fair. I hardly ever get to be with my friends anymore. My pals are having a party on Friday, and I can't go because I have to work. Our schedules never work out. This time is supposed to be the best time of my life, and I barely have time to go out and celebrate it.

I've been feeling very ambitious lately. I have no clue why. For example, today I said hi to this kid I haven't talked face-to-face to since last year (and whom I've liked for a consecutive three years now. I know, I'm pathetic). I actually have the urge to ask someone to the next dance. This is the fifth day in a row I have worn make-up. So I have to ask myself, why the sudden change? I actually think I know the answer. I've stopped caring what other people think about me. Hooray! Just kidding. I care, but not to the extent a teenage girl usually does. Interesting.

Well, I need to pass out newspapers for class. joy.

Over and Over

by Three Days Grace

I feel it everyday it's all the same

It brings me down but I'm the one to blame

I've tried everything to get away

So here I go again

Chasing you down again

Why do I do this?

Over and over, over and over

I fall for you

Over and over, over and over

I try not to

It feels like everyday stays the same

It's dragging me down and I can't pull away

So here I go again

Chasing you down again

Why do I do this?

Over and over, over and over

I fall for you

Over and over, over and over

I try not to

Over and over, over and over

You make me fall for you

Over and over, over and over

You don't even try

So many thoughts that I can't get out of my head

I try to live without you, every time I do I feel dead

I know what's best for me

But I want you instead

I'll keep on wasting all my time

Over and over, over and over

I fall for you

Over and over, over and over

I try not to

Over and over, over and over

You make me fall for you

Over and over, over and over

You don't even try to

Slightly Embarrassed, Mostly Proud

As most of you know, we (my dad mostly) likes to rock out our house for Christmas. What can I say? The guy is dedicated. Take a look.

Pretty crazy huh? Oh well, at least you can tell that our family has LOTS of Christmas Spirit. Each time our lights turn on, or each time I turn the corner coming home from work. My mind automatically starts singing "Hallelujah! Hallelujah!"

As you might have already seen, I was at the Eagar's House and we took some pretty amazing pictures. Since I'm not allowed to post any shots of people (since you can tell who they are) I have decided to cheat a little bit. See, I went home and took more pictures of me with the make-up still on.

Ta Da!

We'll see what my mom says to that. I'm not trying to me a brat, but there are some rules that I don't agree with. In fact, she should be glad this is the farthest extent my rebelling ever makes it to.

Well, since I feel like I have a lot to talk about today, I think I want to show you my Christmas List.

1. An iPod Dock -- Finally!
2. A Dwight Bobble Head -- Freakin' Awesome!
3. An iPod Armband -- Easier to exercise with.
4. A Bookshelf -- preferably big, I like to buy books.
5. A Barnes and Nobel Gift Card -- again, I like to buy books.
6. Gilmore Girls and Smallville Seasons -- should be self explanitory if you know me really well.
7. Hairspray and Nancy Drew movies -- both put you in a happy mood.
8. iTunes Gift Cards -- always useful.

I think that's about it. I feel like I need to do something creative, but if you'll excuse me, I'm exhausted and don't have the energy to get creative juices flowing through my brain. Maybe later in the week.

Short Blurb

I danced with him today in my ballroom class, and I didn't trip all over myself like the last time I was partnered with him. It was fantastic. He has a great smile. (See the following picture to see how I currently feel.)

Song Pick

This is one of my new favorite songs. I've bolded the parts I like. Enjoy!

When I'm Gone Simple Plan

I look around me,

But all I seem to see,

Is people going no where,

expecting sympathy.

It's like were going through the motions,

Of a scripted destiny.

Tell me where's our inspiration,

If life won't wait,

I guess it's up to me.

No, we're not gonna wait another moment in this town.

And we won't come back your world is calling out.

We'll leave the past in the past,

Gonna find the future.

If misery loves company, well,

So long, you'll miss me when I'm gone.

You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.

Procrastination, running circles in my head.

While you sit there contemplating,

You wound up left for dead.

Life is what happens while you're busy making your excuses.

Another day, another casualty.

And that won't happen to me.

No, we're not gonna wait another moment in this town.

And we won't come back your world is calling out.

We'll leave the past in the past,

Gonna find the future.

If misery loves company, well,

So long, you'll miss me when I'm gone.

You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.

You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.

Won't look back,

When I say goodbye.

I'm gonna leave this a hole behind me,

Gonna take what's mine tonight.

Because every day, becomes a wasted chance.

You're going to wake up feeling sorry,

Because life won't wait,

I guess it's up to you.

No, we're not gonna wait another moment in this town.

And we won't come back your world is calling out.

We'll leave the past in the past,

Gonna find the future.

If misery loves company, well,

So long, you'll miss me when I'm gone.

You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.

You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.

You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.

You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.

Need To Say Something

Do you ever feel like there is something really important you need to say, but you just don't know how to say it. For me right now, I don't even know what it is.


A feeling of broken seems to find it's home within me. I can't seem to find where this hole vacated. I want to be warm again. I want to feel again. The bitter hopes I clutch bring no happiness to me anymore. Moving on is the hardest part. I want to live again, but nothing I try seems to work. Save me from my predicaments; your affection and love is what I need to see me through this. Don't raise my expectations. Just come. Come and wrap your arms around me. Forget what happened -- just for one night. I need you. This won't change anything. I understand that. I want to be warm again.

Well that was fun. I have no idea where that came from. I just felt like I needed to say it. Hmmm... weird how that works out sometimes huh?

Happy Thanksgiving

Let me take this time and tell you a few of the things I've been grateful for lately.

• My parents - thank you for not getting on my case about my messy room. It's been very helpful to not have to put that on my list of things to stress about. (I will clean it as soon as things calm down, I promise!)
• My talents - if I wasn't able to do the things I am able to do today, I would probably shoot myself. Writing lets me vent, reading takes me away from reality for a couple of hours, schoolwork is giving me a chance to be something. All of my talents are taking me to my dreams.
• My siblings - for some weird reason I have been able to bond more with my siblings, and they are becoming amazing friends. (If I tell them about this, all I will get is a 'I love you too, Leesha.)
• My friends - a typical teenage answer, I know, but I really think you become who your friends are, and I am grateful to have the best kind of friends there are.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Oh, and I tag Stacy, Tricia, Lindsay, and Hannah to do five random things about themselves.

Hannah, your's I want you to do through pictures of things. :]

5 Random Details About Me

All right, I have been tagged by Suzie to write 5 random things about me that no one knows about. It's going to be kind of hard because I'm as open as a book. I'll try my best though.

1. I love college football. Call me crazy if you want. Heck, I would call me crazy, but I like it. I like watching it with my dad, cousins, and uncles. I have no idea why... runs in the family I guess.
2. There are certain movies I can watch over and over and never get sick of. The examples I can think of right now are Pride and Prejudice, Step Up and She's the Man. I have no clue why. (Ok, 2 of the 3 have Channing Tatum in them. Oh baby!
3. I love Gilmore Girls so much. Jess (Milo Ventimiglia) is amazing and definitely the best of Rory's boyfriends. I am usually completely sensible when it comes to TV crushes, but for him, I melt. Anyway, back to Gilmore Girls--It's a funny and believable show about real life. If you're ever in the mood for a pick-me-up show, this would be my suggestion.
4. I can fit my hand (made into a fist) into a small mouth jar and slip it back out (still in the fist). I remember this one time during a young women's lesson on Sunday where the object was to grab something in the jar, and see if you could take the item and get your hand out of the jar. No one was supposed to, but me, with my small hands, was able to slip my hand right out with the item. Hehe...classic. I ruined the whole point of the object lesson.
5. I am a master at video games. Oh, I know, surprising. I have beaten most of the games we own including, Star Wars, Scooby Doo, any form of Mario games, Pokemon, you name it...

Glad that's over with. That's really hard to do. I'll tag the people I want to do this fun little activity next time.

Guess What?

The most amazing news ever to be recorded in the entire history of the whole wide world has just happened. Ready????????? Yesterday was my official last day of working at ICEBERG!!! That's right. I QUIT!!! Whop-a-diddy-doo!!! Now I have the lovely privilege of working at Robert's Craft Store in Pleasant Grove. (I can hear all of you fizzing with jealousy right now.) So yep, no more fast food for me. I just get to be a normal cashier now. HAHA!


Sorry I haven't had a chance to finish my story yet. It's been a very busy week. I'll definitely try to get it out this week. Well, catch ya later!

Sunday Experiments (aka Scary Story Part 1)

Okay, here are some more pics I've been working on.

This one I took in my Financial Lit. class -- I was extremely bored.

This one I just think is cool-looking.

I'm almost done with my story. Yes, I still haven't finished it, but I will post what I have so far and try to post the rest tomorrow or Tuesday. So, here it goes.

I thought we were safe. He nearly destroyed me before, and now he set out to break me. Never give in; never give up hope. Keep your faith in the Coven. My mother muttered her last words to me as she lay dying with a knife in her gut in the middle of the street. I was only ten years old. Now, my son may have be the one to see me murdered in cold blood.
They lied to me. They said my mother’s killer had been caught, and that there was no reason to be scared. We’ll even put you into a Witness Protection Program if it will make you feel better they told me. Now, nearly seventeen years I’ve been in hiding. Somehow, he escaped, and somehow, he found me.
Earlier today, something seemed to be off. My instincts were more alert and more attentive than normal. I couldn’t help but be paranoid. Kyle was at school, and I was the only one home. So, why was I feeling like I wasn’t the only one in the living room? I looked around. Was that shadow in the corner by the bookcase breathing?
I pushed myself off my couch to look. The closer I inched toward the bookcase, the more I wished I had a baseball bat. I had almost made it to where I could see the entire corner. Ding! Ding! Ding! The clock on the wall struck three; time to pick up Kyle.
While I drove, the thoughts of my mother wouldn’t stop overshadowing my mind. I remembered that within the last days I saw my mother alive, she was in a state of never-ending panic. She was on her guard, jumping at every noise that seemed to be out of place. The Coven warned her too late. There wasn’t enough time to evade her assassin; she couldn’t protect herself.
Is someone after me? I asked myself. Had my mother’s killer become free and come back to finish his work? I had to convince myself that this wasn’t the case; I had taken extra precautions to keep my son and me safe. There was no reason to think that I was going to be hunted down.
When my car pulled me in front to the elementary school, I saw Kyle hiding behind a tree. I turned off the ignition and walked over to him. Honey, what’s the matter? I asked him while stroking his dark hair. Mommy, he started there’s been a man following me around all day. He was by the bike rack when you dropped me off. Then I saw him by the fence at recess. Now, he’s in the car behind you.
My heart stopped for a full five seconds. I turned behind me to see a lanky, bald man sitting in a jeep behind my VW convertible bug. This was the same man that had gone to jail for murdering my mother, and he was now twenty feet away from my son and me.
Without saying anything, I pushed my ten-year-old toward the school. We need to stay in a public place, were my instincts. He wouldn’t dare hurt us in front of all these students and teachers. As we walked into the school, I found a janitor’s closet and led Kyle in through the door as I followed.
Mom, that’s him isn’t it? Kyle said quietly. Trying to hide my fear, I only nodded. Mom, what are we going to do? I shook my head. All I knew was that most of my options were sure to lead me to the place I didn’t want to go—death. What could I possible do? Kyle suddenly spoke up, giving me a possible solution to the crisis.
You need to contact them, Mom. It’s not their fault grandma died. They tried to help save her. My ten-year-old kid admitted what I had refused to acknowledge for the past seventeen years. You’re right, but the only way I can contact the Coven is through that Latin book that’s in my bedroom. Kyle looked at me. This might be the only way to save you, mommy. We need to get that book. I sighed.
Not wanting to prolong the inevitable any longer, I open the closet door slowly. Not sensing any threat, I grabbed Kyle by the hand and moved by a window to where I could see my car.
The jeep was still there, but the man wasn’t. I looked everywhere my vision permitted me to, but he was nowhere in sight. This was our chance; we had to run.

TO BE CONTINUED...

It Only Took Me a Month

Finally, I have figured out a way to put my photo's on this computer without uploading the software. Our CD player has some issues, and it wouldn't ever read the software disk. But, (haha!) I found a way around it. I put the photos on a different computer and use a USB jump drive to transfer them. Ha... I'm smart. So, I'll post some pictures for ya that I've had a chance to take.

More Proof

Check out this awesome article about Mormons. Thank you Grandma for sending it to me! :)

Paul Allen is the owner of the Seattle Seahawks, the ones who played the Pittsburgh Steelers for the Super Bowl. He is also the owner of the Portland Trail Blazers NBA basketball team and is co-partner with Bill Gates in Microsoft. He wrote this editorial in the Santa Clarita, California newspaper.

Subject: An editorial on Mormons - Santa Clarita ,CA

I have heard and seen enough! I have lived in the West all my life. I have worked around them. They have worked for me and I for them. When I was young, I dated their daughters. When I got married they came to my wedding. Now that I have daughters of my own, some of their boys have dated my daughters. I would be privileged if one of them were to be my son-in-law. I'm talking about the Mormons. They are some of the most honest, hardworking people I have ever known. They are spiritual, probably more than most other so-called religious people I have encountered. They study the Bible and teach from it as much as any Christian church ever has. They serve their religion without pay in every conceivable capacity. Not one of their leaders, teachers, counselors, Bishops or music directors receive one dime for the hours of labor they put in. The Mormons have a non-paid ministry - a fact that is not generally known. I have heard many times from the pulpits of others how evil and non-Christian they are and that they will not go to heaven. I decided recently to attend one of their services near my home to see for myself. What a surprise! What I heard and saw was just the opposite from what the religious ministers of the day were telling me. I found a very simple service with no fanfare. I found a people with a great sense of humor and a well-balanced spiritual side. There was no loud music. Just a simple service, with the members themselves giving the several short sermons. They urge their youth to be morally clean and live a good life. They teach the gospel of Christ, as they understand it. The name of their church is "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints". Does that sound like a non-Christian church to you? I asked them many questions about what they teach and why. I got answers that in most cases were from the New Testament. Their ideas and doctrines did not seem too far fetched for my understanding. When I read their "Book of Mormon" I was also very surprised to find just the opposite from what I had been told I would find. Then I went to another church's pastor to ask him some of the same questions about doctrine. To my surprise, when he found out that I was in some way investigating the Mormons, he became hostile. He referred to them as a non-Christian cult. I received what sounded to me like evil propaganda against those people. He stated bluntly that they were not Christian and that they did not fit into the Christian mold. He also told me that they don't really believe the Bible. He gave me a pile of anti-Mormon literature. He began to rant that the Mormons were not telling me the truth about what they stand for. He di dn't want to hear anything good about them.

At first I was surprised and then again, I wasn't. I began to wonder. I have never known of a cult that supports the Boy Scouts of America. According to the Boy Scouts, over a third of all the Boy Scout troops in the United States are Mormon. What cult do you know of that has a welfare system second to none in this country? They have farms, canneries and cattle ranches to help take care of the unfortunate ones who might be down and out and in need of a little help.

The Mormon church has donated millions to welfare causes around the world without a word of credit. They have donated thousands to help rebuild Baptist churches that were burned a few years ago. They have donated tons of medical supplies to countries ravaged by earthquakes. You never see them on TV begging for money. What cult do you know that instills in its members to obey the law, pay their taxes, serve in the military if asked and be a good Christian by living high moral standards? Did you know that hundreds of thousands of Mormon youth get up before high school starts in the morning to attend a religious training class? They have basketball and softball leagues and supervised youth dances every month. They are recruited by the FBI, the State Department and every police department in the country, because they are trustworthy. They are taught not to drink nor take drugs. They are in the Secret Service - those who protect the President. They serve in high leadership positions from both parties in Congress and in the US Senate, and have been governors of several states other than Utah. They serve w ith distinction and honor. If you have Mormons living near, you will probably find them to be your best friends and neighbors. They are Christians who try to live what they preach. They are not perfect and they are the first to admit this. I have known some of them who could not live their religion, just like many of us. The rhetoric which is spread around against them is nothing more than evil propaganda founded in untruths. (Others) had successfully demonized them to the point that the general public has no idea what they actually believe and teach. If you really want to know the truth, go see for yourself You also will be surprised. When I first moved here some 25 years ago there were five Mormon wards in Santa Clarita. Now there are 15. They must be doing something right.

Paul Allen - Santa Clarita

What Inspiration?

So... I am sitting in my newspaper class right now. I'm supposed to be writing articles, but I have the excuse not to right now. I'm basically just sitting here at my computer with the stupid cursor blinking at me and mocking me. I want to keep it moving because then it won't judge me if I stop to think about something I need to write. So, sadly, my goal right now is to keep this cursor moving as much as possible so it won't give me a guilt trip. If your asking why I titled this bloger "What Inspiration?" you know why now. I'm using the lame inspiration of this cursor to keep me going.

I was thinking about writing a scary story sometime soon. I have an idea, but I just have to decide how I would like to execute it.

I vote this blog as the most horrible thing anyone feels obligated to read. All those in favor of this motion? (gavel hitting on a hard, wooden surface) Agreed. As punishment, put some decent effort into the things people have to read!

Time for Change

For some strange reason, life's been going great: I've been able to keep up on my school work. I'm getting decent hours at work, I don't feel so stressed out about life in general. Don't get me wrong, I love that I don't have to worry about so much lately, but I feel like I need to be doing something else. Who knows? I should just shut my mouth and accept it while it stays this way.

The Point

Are all of you wondering what the point of going through this endless, grueling process called life? I know I need a reminder every once in a while. So in all of my state of brilliance, I got thinking about it and thought it would make a really good thing to write on.

Live to learn. Live to smile. Live to create. Live to enjoy. Live to dance. Live to read. Live to write. Live to keep. Live to hope. Live for others. Live for you. Live to dream. Live to imagine. Live to dare. Live to laugh. Live for the chance. Live to stay alive. Live to keep. Live to forget. Live to remember. Live to see. Live to hear. Live to smell. Live to taste. Live for your fairy tale. Live to adore. Live to be unsettled. Live for your values. Live for your family. Live for love. Live to love.

Trying is the best I can do for now. Sorry! Have a good day!

17...Whoa

Take a good look, ladies and gentlemen. I am now at the ripe ol' age of 17. Oh goodness. It's weird. I'm going to be 18 in less then 365 days. Is anyone else going to freak out about this?

Guess what? I got a camera for my birthday! Hooray! I had to pay for like $80 of it, but oh well. I've been wanting one for a long time. Oh man, now that I know my mom reads this, I can't really say any bitter feelings I have about the whole situation. Yep, I'm going to have to set up another blog that my mom doesn't know about, so I can actually say something without getting people mad. (I'm sorry mom, but I do need to express how I feel, not just what you need to hear.)

Anyways, I'm sitting in newspaper again and the bell is about to ring, so I guess I'll blog again later if I have time.

By the way mom, I was just kidding about setting up another blog.

Not in the mood for a title today. Sorry!

Well, I'm sitting in Newspaper right now. I'm so ready to go home. It has been the longest day, and with these kinds of days, A day/B day schedule sucks.

I have a job interview today again. It's for a sweeper at Shelly Elementary. Oh, I hope I get it. I really hate Iceberg, and I really want to get out of there. Plus with this job, I am working 2 hours a day, 5 days a week on most weeks. I get weekends and all school holidays off. Can you say PERFECT??!!?? I don't know; I've learned not to get my hopes up about these things, so we'll see. Who knows if I'll be able to get a car with this new budget.

I'm excited for Friday. I'm going to Flaming Gorge again with my family. It's been a good tradition to make. Most of my Dad's siblings, his parents and along with our family, we go up there every labor day and usually one other time during the summer. It's been really fun to do. I'm just excited to not work at all during the weekend.

Well, catch ya later.

School...ugh.

I am so not ready for school to start. I've barely been able to enjoy my summer. Yeah, sure, I worked a lot, had a few parties, and went to Lagoon, but that's all I've been able to do for the past 2 1/2 months. Is something wrong with that?

I'm finally breaking into the market for a car. My mom says that as soon as I get a budget figured out, we can go apply for a loan, and I can finally get a car. Oh, boy you have no idea how many problems that would solve.

Well, there hasn't really been anything new. Sorry to bore you with all of the sad, petty details of my life. We'll see if I can get some more inspiration sometime this week.

Lovin' the Notes and Lyrics

Music. Every Sunday, I usually get to download some new songs. Let me just say, it has become one of my favorite things. Sometimes I forget how important music is in my life, and let me tell ya, I hate myself for it. I don't know what I would do without music. It's my stress reliever, it's my escape (apart from writing, of course.), it's how I can connect with the rest of the world in my own complicated way. I don't know much, but I do know that I would not be the same person without music in my life; that's for sure.

I'm going to post some parts of my favorite lyrics.

Vulnerable-Secondhand Serenade

I was born to tell you I love you

isn't that a song already

I get a B in originality

and its true I cant go on without you

your smile makes me see clearer

if you could only see in the mirror what I see

slow down girl your not going anywhere

just wait around and see

maybe I am much more you never no what lies ahead

I promise I can be anyone I can be anything

just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed

I can be anyone anything I promise I can be what you need

Soul Meets Body-Death Cab for Cutie

And I cannot guess what we'll discover

When we turn the dirt with our palms cupped like shovels

But I know our filthy hands can wash one another’s

And not one speck will remain

And I do believe it’s true

That there are roads left in both of our shoes

But if the silence takes you

Then I hope it takes me too

So brown eyes I hold you near

Cause you’re the only song I want to hear

A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

Hero-Nickelback

Someone told me love will all save us.

But how can that be, look what love gave us.

A world full of killing, and blood-spilling

That world never came

And they say that a hero can save us.

I'm not gonna stand here and wait.

I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles.

Watch as they all fly away.

Now that the world isn't ending, its love that I'm sending to you.

It isn't the love of a hero, and that's why I fear it won't do.

Books (Not Diamonds) Are a Girl's Best Friend

I'm very excited. Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer comes out on the 7th, and I'm going to the midnight party. Hooray!!! It's Monday starting at 9:00 at Barnes and Nobel, and then the book comes out at 12:01. Thank you Suzie and Hannah for introducing me to this amazing series. It's amazing! Well, that's all for now. Sorry it's so lame!

What You Will...

As it turns out, I didn't get that job at Thanksgiving Point. She only hired two of the four people she was supposed to hire. Oh well, what can ya do? I think I might be able to work things out with Iceberg. Becky (the general manager) says she wants everyone to be able to work out their hours so they can still work during school. We'll see how that goes; usually everything she says, she forgets. But I'm going to talk to her about it sometime this week, so I guess I'll settle it then.

Call me crazy, but I love the rain. When it was raining really hard on Thursday night, I was the happiest I had been all day. The only thing bad was I had to work that night and while taking out the trash. I was only out there for twenty seconds, and I got drenched. I wish it would rain more often around here. I don't want it to rain all the time, but more than twice a month would be a fantastically good thing for me.

I bought a Thesaurus and a Dictionary yesterday (it's very sad that me, being an ambitious author, didn't have a real Dictionary or Thesaurus up until yesterday). I was pretty excited, now I finally have a more expanded vocabulary for my writing. I'll have to start posting some more items.

Nothing New

Well, I had a job interview for Thanksgiving Point on Friday. It's at that little deli next to the Dinosaur Musuem. Anyway, I think it went well. Hopefully, they'll hire me. I'll basically be doing the exact same thing that I'm doing now, only the hours and people will be 1000 times better.
My mom made me take those pictures off. (If you didn't get to see it before, it was a bunch of hilarious pictures my parents took at the wax musuem. It made me sad... oh well, life goes on.)
I just finished reading the first chapter of Midnight Sun. (It's the first chapter of Twilight in Edwards perspective.) It was amazing. If she actually publishes the whole book, I'll be very happy.
Well, I just felt like I had to write something, and that's about all for me today.

Hope's Rollercoaster

So much for that date. We had it all planned out for last night only to find out he had some soccer thing. Now he's busy for the next two weeks, and then the week after that is our family trip to the gorge. I don't want to give up on it or anything, but I've been waiting for this thing to happen for the past few weeks now, and I'm sick of getting my hopes up. As far as I'm concerned, this thing may never happen. I just need to get over it (which is a serious problem because he's way too cute for me to just get over it.) I don't know what to do. Any suggestions? Am I just over reacting? It seems like I'm not giving myself enough credit, but then it also seems like I was never good enough for this to happen anyway. Once again, I repeat, I don't know what to do. HELP!!!

Whim of Inspiration (about time!)

Do you ever get the urged to drop everything you’re going and write? I do. All the time. In fact, I’m having one of those moments right now. I was in the middle of something that was slightly important (SLEEPING!), and what do ya know, after months of nothing, inspiration decides to show up. I’m somewhat of a writer, so I know when inspiration comes on a whim, you must call attention to it at that very second or you could lose your muse. Anyway, to get to my point, I’m sitting in my room thinking about a book I just finished. It was about this girl whose boyfriend beat her, and she struggled to deal with what she learned to call reality. Her point of view ended up becoming very distorted all because she loved this guy. I tried to write what I thought her thoughts would have been.

my friend needed to talk to me.
i was late meeting you and you slapped me.
i said hi to a guy in my photography class
you thought i was flirting with him, and you hit my arm.
i couldn’t find a ride home.
i made you wait, and you threw me against your car.
you always seemed sorry.
you never once cared about the bruises you left.
you said you loved me.
if only i had spoken up sooner.

Oh well, I said I tried, didn’t I? Would you like to hear some slightly exciting news now? I got a date with a kid I’ve liked for three years. It’s about time; I know. That’s basically all I’ve been able to think about for the past 4 days. I know it’s lame, but it’s big news for me.

Well, that felt good. I wish I had more opportunities for insights like that. I haven’t been able to write that much in a long time! Now that the inspirational whim is gone, I’m going back to bed. Nighty night!

I Hate Logic; Just Go with the Flow

Okay, so in all my fantastic boredom in my newspaper class, I was searching the web and found this amazing quote.

To live is like to love--all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it.
Samuel Butler

Think about it. Living, like love, you don't want to go through it. You are afraid of the heartache, pain, tears. Yet, against all of your common sense, you want it and need it to survive. You want to be loved. You want to live. You want to give it all and get it all.

Notice the word: healthy. Meaning, if you went through life without any living or love, you probably wouldn't turn out alright. Sorry, I'm just mainly babbling now, but I just wanted to give you a glimpse into my complicated mind.

Ummm... I hate titles?

Yeah, I hate school. I'm pretty sure every kid in the U.S. does by now. With less than 20 days of school left, I don't know if my attention span can wait any longer. Oh boring... Well I wrote a poem thingy for my research paper in creative writing, but I still think it applies to me. It's exaggerated, but just go with it.

Personal matters never get in the way.
Exceptionally adequate in all that they do.
Realistic ways guide every decision.
Fathomable ways are never unnoticed.
Efforts are always enough.
Convinced that all the world is ideal.
Tell no one I’m not even close to being perfect.


Poems, poems, poems. We are actually writing poems in English. Fun huh? It's what all English classes do at the end of the year, because they are easy to grade. It's a matter of personal opinion. If you do it, you get the credit. All assignments should be that way... well ttfn!

My Pathetic Beginning Blog

Geez, it's quite a process to get into this thing isn't it? Just kidding. I've had worse! Well as my friend Hannah says, the first blog is always the hardest. I'm now beginning to believe her...






Well, glad that's over with. Now let the fun begin!