Yawn

I've been thinking...

Certain events have transpired, and I've decided to make my blog private. My e-mail address is smiles_alot105@yahoo.com.

You have about one week to let me know.

I'll maybe explain why I've decided to do this later.




I'm sitting in newspaper class right now. I'm bored.

Not This Time

you can’t be saved this time.
not by your friends, not by your family,
not by me.
don’t forget, it’s all your fault.
you were warned;
you chose not to listen.
this is your mess.
as much as i tried to help,
you pushed me away.
now i’m gone.
this is your problem now.

Need To Know

i need
to know
what you see.

if you still see
anything
going on between us.

you act
like there isn’t
anything anymore.

but every time
either of us tries
to move on,

you don’t seem
to want
to be apart.

just tell me
what you
want.

I’m tired
of playing
this guessing game.

either move on
or make your
move.

i’m not going
to wait
any longer.

I'll Miss You

NOOOO!!!!!


Why, Spring Break, WHY??? This week has gone by EXTREMELY fast. I was really getting used to sleeping in, hanging out, and not stressing over homework for once. Now, it's Saturday already. We go back to school on Monday. I'm going to cry! Okay, not really. I've actually been kind of bored, but not bored enough to WANT to go back to school. Oh well. I guess I'd better pull out my Pre-Cal homework and work on it tonight.


How many days until summer?


Well, on Monday, I went to that concert. I have pictures, but they turned out kind of blurry. It was amazing. Aside from a few bruises, I managed to survive the mosh pit; it was painful, though, and I was sore the next day. But, it was worth it. The rest of the week has been uneventful. I've worked and hung out with Hannah. Oh, I made a new friend through Hannah. His name is Jeff, and he's awesome. He's really funny. Other than that, it's been a pretty boring week.



Creative stuff to come later. :D

Gillian's Leg

I took the ACT again yesterday. I have to say, I think I did a lot better than last time - except for the essay, but it doesn't even count to the composite score, so I don't think it really matters. Then, of course, I got sick. A cold - yeah, in the middle of April. But I guess it's not that outrageous considering it was snowing last night. So, I woke up this morning, with the chills and a cough. I wanted to go to my cousins baby blessing, but I figured I was going to be miserable the whole time, so I didn't go.

Oh, and another thing. Gillian, my sister, broke her leg yesterday. Yep. She went to the Legacy Center Pool with Shay Munger and Hannah Shafer. I guess there was a part of the jungle gym with steps, and one of the steps was underwater. My sister was coming down those steps, and she missed the one underwater and slipped. She sat there screaming her head off; Hannah and Shay were trying to help her. None of the lifeguards were doing anything. Finally one comes over and asks if she was all right. Then they carried her out of the pool. Kirsten Shafer was luckily there and started calling our home. I wasn't home and the boys didn't know the number, so they didn't answer it. She decided she should just take her home.

By now, I came home and I was hanging out with Hannah. Kirsten came over with Gillian and I tried to get a hold of my parents. We put Gillian on the couch and waited for my parents to come home. Kirsten thought it was broken, and Hannah thought it was just a sprain. It turns out she broke it in one place, and fractured it in another place.

Okay, well thanks to the wonderful miracle of Spring Break, I will have some time to write some more stuff and take some pictures. Oh, and dude, I'm going to a Paramore/Jimmy Eat World Concert tomorrow, so expect to hear all about that!

Grr...

Enough of this crap. I just want to make a decision. I have to make it within the next 6 months, so I might as well make it now. So, what's the problem? I CAN'T DECIDE!!!





Okay, if you haven't guessed already, I'm talking about college.



BYU or UVSC



I'm torn. I've made both have good programs. Both are good schools. What should I do?







I'm tempted to make a full pro/con list like Rory does in Gilmore Girls. I think I might have to; it's only logical. Part of the problem is the more research I dig up, it just seems to get worse. This is a big decision, and it's freaking me out. Lately, I can't stop thinking about it, which is good in some ways. But thinking about it has made me realize that I need to decide -- and soon.



Any ideas, people?



I think a pro/con list is sounding fair. Maybe I should do that and then start to worry.

No More Missing

i missed the feeling
i missed the words
i missed the experience

i've been kept from the things i loved the most because i thought i loved you. you were my inspiration until you suppressed me into fear. i thought i loved you.

now i'm free. moved on. over with you. done.

i've found someone new. to treat me well. to love me.

he won't hurt me. he'll accept me.

i love the feelings
i love the words
i love the experience

???

It's been a bad weekend.

Sean, give me your email address, I need to tell you what happened with Vanessa and me after you left.

Conference has been really good though. I'm glad we get the opportunity to sit down and enjoy messages from our leaders.

Besides fulfilling my blogging quota, I'm doing college research. Boring but it needs to be done.

Sorry, Hannah. I will get you those pictures soon. And thanks for going along with my weirdness when I needed to get my mind off of things.

More creative things to come...



Just not right now...


:)

Hooray!