Recovery

my heart starts to race the second i see him. why?
i can't seem to get over the fact he doesn't care for me.
i need to move on.
but i don't think i can.
this infatuation is starting to bug me.
i keep wishing something will happen.
the thing is, i know it won't.
every time i think i get closer to getting over him,
he smiles at me, then i'm back where i started.
i need to move on
i don't think i can.


Our assignment in creative writing is to experiment with repetition. I like repetition, it's just sometimes hard to find a way to use it. I keep thinking inspiration is going to strike me like lightning at any given moment. Well, it hasn't yet, obviously. You watch. The second I am away from pen and paper and/or my computer, I'm going to get a stroke of genius, and I'll forget it all because I won't be able to write it down. It always happens. ;)

Hannah and I saw 27 Dresses yesterday. I loved it. It was really cute. James Marsden. Ahhh...


Well, I think that's all the creativity I can crank out for one day. That's very sad.

Random

I've been thinking about some weird questions lately.

• Why are people so stupid sometimes?
• Why is it that when you hear a song on the radio it sounds "better" than it would if you were listening to it on a CD?
• Why is driving so frustrating?
• Why am I always the responsible one?
• Why can't the writers end their stupid strike, so I can watch The Office again?
• Why won't it stop snowing?

You know what show I really like that hasn't been postponed yet? Chuck. Oh my amazing. It is so funny. It's kind of original too. Watch an episode or two if you have time. Plus, that guy, Zachary Levi, is cute, especially when he's in character.

Well, enough about that, let's see it if I can come up with something creative soon.

Decisions

The more I think about it, the more I think that this is the right choice for me. UVSC. I've been looking through the classes and programs that they offer, and it's exactly what I'm looking for. I don't want to say that it's more convenient than any other school I would choose, it just happens to have everything I need and it is more appealing to me more every time I look into it.

I'm not saying THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I'M GOING TO DO! because I haven't really had that much time to think about it. The college you choose is a big decision. But I'm not saying it's a total shutout either.

I've said practically my whole life that I've wanted to go to BYU. I still do. It's just weird to actually be considering something else for a change.

Whoa.

Fun Fun Fun

It never ceases to amaze me that every year I get a cold. EVERY YEAR at least once. I even was extremely superstitious about germs and I still got a hold of it.

Well, it is now officially one more week until my family and I go to Disneyland. Hooray! I really need a vacation. Now, I just hope I can get rid of this cold in time to actually enjoy myself there. We are staying in The Candy Cane Inn, or so I'm told. It looks nice, I guess. I don't know. I liked the hotels we stayed at the last two times, but oh well. It's not up to me, because I'm not paying for it. This is probably going to be the last big trip with my family for a while. );

Alright, I still have homework to do. Grr...

Myself

UPDATE
I didn't mean to sound bitter when I was doing this. Sorry if I sounded...odd. We read this in creative writing today, and I had no idea that it was going to sound the way it did. Sorry!

Well, here is my first creative writing assignment for the semester. It's kind of weird in my opinion. I'm still kind of stuck in a writer's block, so please forgive me. The topic was myself, so I was a little bit bored with it, but oh well.

I’m sorry to disappoint, but the sad fact is, my life is just as insignificant as anyone else thinks their life is. I was born, I’m still growing up, and one day, I’ll die. That part is the easy part. It’s always the things in between that I have trouble getting straight.

I started writing in fifth grade. One day, I just sat down and wrote. A few days later, it was a story. I entered it into the Reflections contest, and I won. Ever since then, I’ve been obsessed with the feeling of words at my fingertips.

I like to consider myself as a normal teenager. I go to school, I have a part-time job, I like to be with my friends, and I even feel like the world conspires against me sometimes. In some ways, that’s what I hate about myself too. I’ve been relieved to be ordinary, but some days, I want to be more than that. One day, I’m hoping to overcome this stereotype and become an extraordinary person. I know every kid says that they want to accomplish something like this, but then they drop the dream as reality closes in on them. That’s the thing about my reality: It’s already different from those I know. When faith in something is lost, all other hope falters. I guess I haven’t quite lost all faith in myself yet.

My worst fear is that one day I’ll be alone. I’ve already pushed friends away because I was trying to be honest, trying to be a good friend. My intentions weren’t seen as noble, and I’m afraid they never will be. I’m scared that I won’t have a warm hand to hold as I go through the bad times in life. I know it sounds slightly crazy, but my nightmares can seem so real sometimes, and this was one of them.

One of my new, favorite quotes from the movie Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix helps sort of illustrate my point. “You’re the weak one. You will never know love or friendship, and I feel sorry for you.” I don’t want to become the inadequate one. I don’t want to lose everything I live for. I want to be the lucky one with love in my life. With some events that happened last year, all I feel like I’m capable of is losing friendships. I’m scared that’s all I’ll become: another loser friend for the record books.

Photography

Here is the photography I promised. Enjoy!

(Untitled)

Ok, so my favorite teacher, Mrs. Bingham just gave me her blog address. Check it out. She's amazing. And let me know if it's a "you have to know her to get this" kind of a thing because I think she is hilarious. Oh, by the way, the link is over on the right side. -->

I think I need to start requesting Tuesdays off of work. Get this: I only work two days next week. Guess which days they are? That's right Tuesday and Thursday (also hard to work on this day with Big Brother Big Sister). I think now that's it a sure thing that I am staying at Roberts for a while, I need request to only work on Tuesdays if they desprately need me to. I feel like I'm inactive because I haven't been to Young Womens in so long.

Well, I've done some more photography, which I can't post because they are pictures of myself, but I also did some of just objects so I'll try to get those posted tomorrow.

The semester is over at school and I finally have Creative Writing with Mrs. Bingham. This year for our "journals" she said she might let us do our blogs. So, just for warning, I might actually post something creative every once in a while.

Ok, as if this post wasn't already jumping around from topic to topic. I'm going to change the address site of my blog. I just want something more creative. So if you think of anything, let me know. I won't change it for at least another week once I come up with a name. And I'm going to make this font big so all of you can read it and won't forget that I'm changing things around. B-]

Good Old Days

You Are a Purple Crayon

Your world is colored in dreamy, divine, and classy colors.You hold yourself to a sky high standard, and you are always graceful.People envy, idolize, and copy you without realizing it. You are an icon for those who know you.And while it is hard to be a perfectionist, rest assured it's paying off! Your color wheel opposite is yellow. While yellow people may be wise, they lack the manners and class needed to impress you.

What Color Crayon Are You?

Distractions

Ok, so I had this amazing post in mind. You want to know what it was? So do I. Suzie left me this comment earlier today.







I don't know about you, but it kind of threw me off. Wow.

blah...

So, it's been a busy Saturday. I went to a YCL meeting, I went to the Legacy Center(yeah, that's right), and I played some Guitar Hero. I'm also in the middle of writer's block again, and I'm developing a migraine. Just thought you all should know. Happy Saturday.

:/

ACT

Are you a scared as I am? A couple days ago, I registered to take the ACT. The ACT people!!! I'm trying to get myself prepped for the test, but I'm not worried about preparation as much, I'm worried about freezing up and forgetting everything just like I did on my last two significant tests. Check out some of the stuff I have to know. Go ahead and see if you can answer it. (No peeking at the answers!)

1. Rex is four times as old as Ted. If the sum of their ages is 30, how old is Ted? A: 5 B: 8 C: 10 D: 6
2. Find the slope: 4x - 5y = 20 A: 5/4 B: 4/5 C: -4/5 D: -5/4
3. Read the passages and answer the questions that follow(3 and 4). The work performed by a spring is one of the classic examples of work performed by variable force. When a spring is neither compressed nor extended, we may say that it is in a relaxed state. Any time the spring is taken out of this state, whether by begin stretched or compressed, it will exert what is called a restoring force, as it attempts to reclaim its relaxed state. In most cases, we can say that the force (F) exerted by the spring is proportional to the displacement of the free end from its position during the relaxed state. This is known as Hooke's law, and is expressed:
   F = -kd
   The negative sign in this equation indicates that the force is always opposite to the displacement. The constant k is known as the spring constant, and is a measure of the resilience of the spring. What is one of the classic examples of work performed by variable force? A: a ball rolling downhill B: stretching out a spring C: compressing a spring D: the work performed by a spring
4. Why is the spring constant always negative? A: Because it always acts in the opposite direction as the force acting on the spring B: Because it always acts in the same direction as the force acting on the spring. C: Because it always acts perpendicular to the force acting on the spring. D: Because it goes toward the center of the earth.

Here are the answers:

1. D. The ratio of Rex's age to Ted's age is 4:1; the sum of their ages can be divided by the total number of units in this ratio, 5. This indicates that Rex is 24 and Ted is 6.
2. B. The equation form for slope is y = mx + b, in which m is slope.
3. D. The restoring force of a spring is a great example of variable force.
4. A. The restoring force always resists the force that moves the spring out of its relaxed position.

See, not too bad. I'm just worried about the stupid science questions. I hate science. My attention span is not equipped to deal with any science. I also have to do some more English questions and I am taking the optional essay part of the test so, I'm also nervous about that. But I still have a month to prepare, and I think if I do a couple of prep practices every night, I'll get a good score.