Carried Away

Sorry guys. I knew it was going to happen when I wrote it yesterday, but I did get carried away. I was just having a really bad day. I didn't get home from work until midnight, I slept in, I still had homework to do by the time I went to work, I had a migraine all day yesterday, etc. But it's okay. I'm okay. I just needed to say something because if I didn't, I was going to explode or something equal to it.



(Grandma, what I meant by losing my college fund is that all my savings I've been saving from work, I didn't keep track of them very well, and I spent almost all of it.)



It help me feel better to get all that off my chest, and the good news is I'm back to normal. Happy, healthy, fantastic! Yeah, so just remember, I do sometimes vent sometimes and I don't mean most of it. So don't worry; it's just a way for me to stay in control.



Okay, now that I have that out of the way...



Writer's Ink (my school's writing club) has officially started! Hooray! It's really fun. We're doing stuff like scary story contest, literary magazine, post love poems around the school on Valentine's Day, and playwriting. Oh, how I love to write! We didn't write anything today, we just had an opening social and played a game called 12 Tall Tales. It's a really fun game, and you have to really use your brain to write as much stuff down as you can. If you want to know specifics, I'll tell you later.

Dyslexic

for some odd reason, i've haven't really been "here". i keep spelling things wrong. even as i type right now i have to stop after every other word, delete it, and try again.


could it be the fact that i didn't get home from work until midnight last night.

could it be the fact that i did 2 hours of homework yesterday?

could it be the fact that i still have about an hour more to go? (due tomorrow, and i have to go to work at 4:00)

could it be the fact that i am mad at several of my friends, and they don't even know (or care)?

could it be the fact that i am emotionally unstable right now and at any moment going to burst into tears.

could it be the fact that, due to last month, i have to completely restart my college saving fund?
(i don't even know how that happened.)

could it be that i am just a complete wimp?
maybe.


what's wrong with me? did i do something to offend everyone? to offend the entire universe? because today, everything has combined forces and has all of hell out to get me.

Something New

Okay - I'm going to try something different, and I need your help to do it. I need ideas for stories, and I know you guys have crazy ideas - I've heard at least a few from every one of you. What do you want to read from me? But in a week's time - all the ideas I get, I'm going to roll them all into one story; no matter how crazy. So take a few days, come up with something that can be incorporated into a story, leave me a comment, and I'll try my best to make a story out of it. I want a new challenge, so I can actually keep up my creative flow.


Remember, you have one week.




:D Thanks!

I Don't Get It

Is it really that hard to call or stop by and TALK to me?



I'm getting sick of this. I deserve better than to be treated like this, and you know it.

Cold Sassy Tree

All righty - One of my summer books I read was called Cold Sassy Tree by Olive Ann Burns. We've been talking about the book and the author in English a lot. Olive Ann Burns wrote this over a period of eight years, and she also had cancer during this period. She was a magazine writer, and that's why the story just takes of from the first page.




If you haven't read it, it's definitely one to read. A classic. Right on my list next to Huck Finn.

Better Than Expected

All right. I know I was really against going to school today. And just so everyone is clear -



I was wrong.



I mean sure, I'm still not excited about being in school until May 29th, but I've come to terms with it, and I'm ready for it to, at the very least, start.


I think I'm going to start looking for another job. It's not that Robert's isn't great, but I need something with better pay and better hours. My mom and I were talking about a trip I want to take with my English teacher at the end of the year, and to do that, I need money. The trick is, I still need to save for college too. So if any of you know of an after school job that pays well, has decent hours, but will still be flexible enough for me to keep good grades in school: Let me know.

What Happened?

It seems like only yesterday when I drove home from the last day of school with the whole summer to look forward to. Now - that much faster - it's all behind me. And it's not just one summer, this was the last summer of my grade school years.

But when I think about it, I did accomplish a lot.

1. Lagoon! I want to go again!
2. Girl's Camp - I didn't go home early.
3. Weight Loss
4. Countless Books (14?)
5. Work - didn't save any money.
6. Bryce Canyon
7. Flaming Gorge
8. Writing - found a way to get my creativity back when I lose it.
9. Scholarship applying - who knows if it's done any good.
10. College Prep Stuff - it was really boring and probably another waste of time.

All in all, I think it wasn't a totally wasteful summer. Even though it doesn't feel like it, I accomplished lots of things.

Now all that's left to do is welcome school with open arms and prepare for an awesome year.

**Note to self: remember to keep a positive attitude. Senior year is supposed to be fun!

I've Grown

I was just looking back on all the posts I've done since I've started blogging, and I've seen myself grow. More to the point, my blog has helped me grow. Thanks to writing all this down, I can remember what I was thinking during certain times, and how I got through it all. Hence, the growth.


Also, some other exciting news. I've also shrunk. Uh-huh, I'm down one dress size. School shopping was a little more exciting than I thought it was going to be.

Lacking Inspiration

Sorry, guys. I really feel like I need to write something, but nothing creative is coming to mind. Frustrating - yeah that seems to be the theme in my life lately.


Anyway, here's a quote I read the other day that I really liked.

No one ever gets over the first unfairness;

no one except Peter. He often met it, but he

always forgot it. I suppose that was the real

difference between him and all the rest.

-J. M. Barrie

Good, am I right? I don't know, maybe it's just me. I just like it when people and characters defy their human confinements to be slightly extraordinary; even if it is about something small.

The Lady Of Shalott

I was introduced to this poem last year by my wonderful English teacher, and I've loved it ever since. I hope you'll enjoy it, too!



The Lady of Shalott

Alfred Tennyson

On either side the river lie

Long fields of barley and of rye,

That clothe the wold and meet the sky;

And through the field the road runs by

To many - towered Camelot;

And up and down the people go,

Gazing where the lilies blow

Round an island there below,

The island of Shalott.

Willows whiten, aspens quiver,

Little breezes dusk and shiver

Through the wave that runs forever

By the island in the river

Flowing down to Camelot.

Four gray walls, and four gray towers,

Overlook a space of flowers,

And the silent isle imbowers

The Lady of Shalott.

By the margin, willow-veiled,

Slide the heavy barges trailed

By slow horses; and unhailed

The shallop flitteth silken-sailed

Skimming down to Camelot:

But who hath seen her wave her hand?

Or at the casement seen her stand?

Or is she known in all the land,

The Lady of Shalott?

Only reapers, reaping early

In among the bearded barley,

Hear a song that echoes cheerly

From the river winding clearly,

Down to towered Camelot:

And by the moon the reaper weary,

Piling sheaves in uplands airy,

Listening, whispers " 'Tis the fairy

Lady of Shalott."

Part II

There she weaves by night and day

A magic web with colours gay.

She has heard a whisper say,

A curse is on her if she stay

To look down to Camelot.

She knows not what the curse may be,

And so she weaveth steadily,

And little other care hath she,

The Lady of Shalott.

And moving through a mirror clear

That hangs before her all the year,

Shadows of the world appear.

There she sees the highway near

Winding down to Camelot:

There the river eddy whirls,

And there the surly village-churls,

And the red cloaks of market girls,

Pass onward from Shalott.

Sometimes a troop of damsels glad,

An abbot on an ambling pad,

Sometimes a curly shepherd-lad,

Or long-haired page in crimson clad,

Goes by to towered Camelot;

And sometimes through the mirror blue

The knights come riding two and two:

She hath no loyal knight and true,

The Lady of Shalott.

But in her web she still delights

To weave the mirror's magic sights,

For often through the silent nights

A funeral, with plumes and lights

And music, went to Camelot:

Or when the moon was overhead,

Came two young lovers lately wed;

"I am half sick of shadows," said

The Lady of Shalott.

Part III

A bow-shot from her bower-eaves,

He rode between the barley-sheaves,

The sun came dazzling through the leaves,

And flamed upon the brazen greaves

Of bold Sir Lancelot.

A red-cross knight forever kneeled

To a lady in his shield,

That sparkled on the yellow field,

Beside remote Shalott.

The gemmy bridle glitterd free,

Like to some branch of stars we see

Hung in the golden Galaxy.

The bridle bells rang merrily

As he rode down to Camelot:

And from his blazoned baldric slung

A mighty silver bugle hung,

And as he rode his armour rung,

Beside remote Shalott.

All in the blue unclouded weather

Thick-jewelled shone the saddle-leather,

The helmet and the helmet-feather

Burned like one burning flame together,

As he rode down to Camelot.

As often through the purple night,

Below the starry clusters bright,

Some bearded meteor, trailing light,

Moves over still Shalott.

His broad clear brow in sunlight glowed;

On burnished hooves his war-horse trode;

From underneath his helmet flowed

His coal-black curls as on he rode,

As he rode down to Camelot.

From the bank and from the river

He flash'd into the crystal mirror,

"Tirra lirra," by the river

Sang Sir Lancelot.

She left the web, she left the loom,

She made three paces through the room,

She saw the water-lily bloom,

She saw the helmet and the plume,

She looked down to Camelot.

Out flew the web and floated wide;

The mirror cracked from side to side;

"The curse is come upon me," cried

The Lady of Shalott.

Part IV

In the stormy east-wind straining,

The pale yellow woods were waning,

The broad stream in his banks complaining,

Heavily the low sky raining

Over towered Camelot;

Down she came and found a boat

Beneath a willow left afloat,

And round about the prow she wrote

The Lady of Shalott.

And down the river's dim expanse

Like some bold seër in a trance,

Seeing all his own mischance—

With a glassy countenance

Did she look to Camelot.

And at the closing of the day

She loosed the chain, and down she lay;

The broad stream bore her far away,

The Lady of Shalott.

Lying, robed in snowy white

That loosely flew to left and right—

The leaves upon her falling light—

Through the noises of the night

She floated down to Camelot:

And as the boat-head wound along

The willowy hills and fields among,

They heard her singing her last song,

The Lady of Shalott.

Heard a carol, mournful, holy,

Chanted loudly, chanted lowly,

Till her blood was frozen slowly,

And her eyes were darkened wholly,

Turned to towered Camelot.For ere she reached upon the tide

The first house by the water-side,

Singing in her song she died,

The Lady of Shalott.

Under tower and balcony,

By garden-wall and gallery,

A gleaming shape she floated by,

Dead-pale between the houses high,

Silent into Camelot.

Out upon the wharfs they came,

Knight and burgher, lord and dame,

And round the prow they read her name,

The Lady of Shalott.

Who is this? and what is here?

And in the lighted palace near

Died the sound of royal cheer;

And they crossed themselves for fear,

All the knights at Camelot:

But Lancelot mused a little space;

He said, "She has a lovely face;

God in his mercy lend her grace,

The Lady of Shalott."