I feel like I need to write something.
I slightly hate these kinds of days.
I don't want to feel like I have an obligation to my writing; it should want to be obligated to me.
I don't know anymore. Lately I've just been so confused and stressed. I feel like everything is my fault, when all I do is sit in silence. I guess part of it is - for not doing anything about it, I mean. But, when others are in a raging mood, somehow, I'm always the one to just be there; the wrong place at the wrong time.
I don't know what to do anymore. With work, school, family, friends, breathing, eating, sleeping, exercising, existing, trying my best to just live everyday isn't as grand as it used to be. Is it me, or do I need to try more? I'm the one that is currently controlling my life, so why aren't I doing anything about it.
I'll tell you why.
I'm scared to live. I'm scared to hope and dream for things that I don't deserve.
But is there another way to be happy? To make things worthwhile is how you become happy. So is there a reason I just want to stay locked up in my safe, little cage?
This isn't a rhetorical thing people; I need some advice. Part of the problem is that I don't know what I'm asking. I guess it's just this: How can I make things better for myself? Should I just keep doing what I'm doing, or do I need a different strategy?
Thanks for the future advice I'm about to receive. Or, if none of you have anything to say, thanks for just reading. Basically to all of you...
...thanks for listening. My teenage mind can be really whinny sometimes. Thanks for understanding. :)
4 comments:
I remember feeling like this, like, last week! Just remember cute girl, you are the only one that can change your circumstances. You cannot control what is happening around you, but you can control your attitude and how you react to everyone and everything. It's all in the attitude, and sometimes it can be really hard to have a good one, but you must.
Invision what you want for yourself and keep that as a goal ALWAYS and never let it go, and NEVER say that you don't deserve everything that you want. You do.
If I had advice right now,
I'd give it to you.
But I don't, partly because I feel so much of the same things you're feeling...
bleck.
we need a vacation!
Live the life you invision.
One step at a time.
break it down to moments, days, weeks, months.
Invision it. Write about it. Make a list of 300 things you want to accomplish in your life. Put it on the side of your blog.
Do and read things that bring you hope.
Think & Feel things that make you move with faith. faith not fear.
have fun.
and give yourself a break.
it's okay to have stretches where you question and slow down.
do things during that time that make you feel good and help others. even though it feels like you have nothing to give.
laugh. be adventurous. and follow your heart. you have an amazing heart.
ok. I'm done.
I wish I could say that "this is how to be happy...." and give you a list. But everyone is different. You have A TON going for you--and I think that is the key. We look around and think that "oh man, that person has this and that person has that" But when WE say, "Hey, look, I am GOOD at this" and use our own abilities--WE FIND SUCCESS.. Our confidence grows in our ability to do even more with our talents--and it spirals upward. And we are happy and content. SO my advice would be to try new things, remember there is not a mold you have to fit into, give yourself a break and do the things you enjoy. And just remember that you have a ton of experience ahead of you.
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